Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
