Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize