Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
