He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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