Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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