I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize