i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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