So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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