Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
