If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
