new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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