guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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