i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
