Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize