i think i have two assholes
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
