I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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