is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You are the jesus of drinking
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize