I love black thongs
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
