Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
