Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize