Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
