Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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