I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
