at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
