just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
