Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
