i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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