Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sorry about my life...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
