I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
