alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
They took my balls.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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