you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
