singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
