A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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