i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
