i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
