i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
false alarm. still invincible.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
