we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
