Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
