I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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