i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
