she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize