why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
