I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
