I got chris browned last night
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
