Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
As shirtless as possible
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
