Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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