It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
