btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
