I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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