If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
