Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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