I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
