trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
