I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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