Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
