tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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