i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
