bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
