is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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