i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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