I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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