You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize