i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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