You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize