Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
