yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize