I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
