You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
