garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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